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Parenting Time & Schedules

Flying for the Holidays: Consent, the Itinerary, and Your Child

Planning a holiday flight with your child? Learn what your custody order likely requires, how much notice to give, and what to carry through airport security.

Best for the Children Editorial·8 min read·October 21, 2026

You have Thanksgiving this year, or maybe winter break. You've found the flights, and the fare goes up if you wait. Before you book, you wonder whether you need the other parent's permission. For a flight inside the US, the answer usually comes from your custody order, not from the airline or the TSA. Here is what the order is likely to require, what to send the other parent, what to carry at the airport, and what changes when your child flies alone or leaves the country.

The short answer: your order comes first, the airline second

No federal law says you need the other parent's consent to take your child on a domestic flight. The TSA doesn't ask about it, and children under 18 don't have to show ID at domestic security screening.

Your custody order is what controls. Many orders include travel terms. A common one requires at least 30 days' notice to the other parent, plus the full itinerary and contact information. Some orders go further and require written consent for travel out of state.

Holiday time does not cancel those duties. It's easy to assume that "my week" means "my plans." But a holiday schedule doesn't automatically waive a notice requirement elsewhere in the order. Before you book, read the travel section and the holiday section together.

The airline's rules sit on top of all this. Airlines care about tickets, ID and, when a child flies alone, who drops the child off and who picks them up. They won't enforce your order for you. A judge will, if the trip goes badly.

Orders differ, and so do state laws. Read your own order closely and check your state's rules.

What to send the other parent

Notice periods in custody orders commonly run 30 to 45 days. Some plans allow shorter notice for in-state trips and require longer notice for international ones. Do the math now. Thanksgiving is November 26, so 30 days' notice means sending your plans by about October 27, the week before Halloween.

A useful itinerary usually covers:

  • Flight numbers, dates and times, both ways
  • The address where your child will sleep each night
  • The names of any other adults traveling with you
  • Phone numbers where your child and you can be reached

Send it in writing. Many orders allow notice by email or text, so check what yours says and use that method. A written message gives both of you a record of what was shared and when.

Sometimes both parents claim the same week, especially when the holiday schedule is loosely worded. Some orders settle this ahead of time, for example by giving a contested week to the parent who gave written notice first. If your order has a rule like that, follow it. If it doesn't, sort it out before anyone buys a ticket.

If the two of you agree to something the order doesn't cover, such as swapping weekends or adding two days to the trip, put that agreement in writing as well. A friendly phone call in October can be remembered very differently in December.

Documents and ID at the airport

Once notice is settled, the airport is mostly about paperwork.

  • Younger children: The TSA doesn't require ID for children under 18 on domestic flights when they travel with an adult.
  • Teens flying alone with PreCheck: An unaccompanied minor who is eligible for PreCheck must show acceptable ID to get the faster screening.
  • Older teens with a state ID: Since May 7, 2025, airports have not accepted state IDs that aren't REAL ID–compliant. If your teen's license or ID card isn't compliant, a passport works instead.

Airlines can have their own ID rules for minors, especially for older teens flying alone. Some may ask a 15- to 17-year-old for a photo ID or a birth certificate. Check your airline's ID page before the trip.

A few documents are worth carrying as a precaution, even though they aren't legally required for a domestic flight:

  • A copy of your custody order, or at least the pages on travel and holidays
  • A short signed letter from the other parent saying they know about the trip and agree to it
  • Your child's birth certificate, especially if your surname differs from your child's

These documents are backup. Most of the time nobody asks for them. If someone does question whether a child is yours to travel with, they can turn a long delay into a short conversation.

Child flying alone: unaccompanied minor rules

When the holiday plan is a flight to the other parent, the airline's rules matter more. Each airline sets its own ages, fees and pickup rules. Recently published figures for the major airlines include:

  • Delta: Ages 5–14 can fly alone only through its Unaccompanied Minor Program. The fee is $150 each way, covering up to four children. Teens aged 15–17 can be enrolled at a parent's request. Children get barcoded wristbands, and a parent can walk them through security to the gate.
  • American: The service is required for ages 5–14 and optional for 15–17. The fee is $150, which covers siblings.
  • United: Ages 5–14, $150 each way for every two children.
  • JetBlue: Ages 5–14, $150 each way.
  • Southwest: Ages 5–11, $100 each way. Travelers aged 12 and up use its Young Travelers option at no fee.

These rules change, and some airlines limit which routes and connections a child can fly. Read the airline's own unaccompanied-minor page before you book, not after. Airlines release the child only to an adult who was named in advance and can show ID. Make sure the other parent knows exactly who is listed.

A few choices make the day easier on your child:

  • Book nonstop when you can. A missed connection is hard for an adult and frightening for a child.
  • Give your child a charged phone with the other parent's number saved, or a card with the number written on it.
  • Keep the goodbye calm. Children notice when parents tense up at the gate. A warm, simple handoff tells them they're allowed to enjoy both homes.

Flying abroad: the consent letter and passports

International travel adds another layer of rules, and this is where consent letters matter.

The US doesn't require proof that both parents gave permission for a child to leave the country. Other countries may. A child traveling with only one parent may be asked for a consent letter at the port of entry. Some countries also ask for proof of sole custody. The US government's guidance is that the letter should be written by the parent who isn't traveling, in English, and notarized if possible. Its suggested wording is simple: "I acknowledge that my child is traveling outside the country with [the name of the adult] with my permission." Check the destination country's entry rules as well.

Passports take longer, so start early. For a child under 16, both parents or legal guardians generally have to apply in person. The exception is a parent who can show sole legal authority. A parent who can't attend can sign a consent form (DS-3053) in front of a notary or at a passport counter instead. Leave a few weeks for this before a holiday trip.

Check your order before anything else. Many custody orders bar international travel without written consent from both parents or a court order. Also check whether the destination country is part of the Hague Convention on international child abduction. If it isn't, a US custody order may not be recognized there. That question deserves a conversation with a family lawyer before anyone books.

Keeping it calm for your child

Children know both parents aren't living together anymore. Hiding a trip from them doesn't spare them anything. What helps is knowing what's coming.

  • Tell your child the plan early, using a calendar they can see.
  • Keep the handoff short and simple, whether it's at your door or at the gate.
  • Let your child call the other parent while away, without hovering or asking about the call afterward. A child who can reach both parents relaxes faster.

If your order is unclear about holiday travel, don't guess. A short consultation with a family law attorney now costs far less than a contempt hearing in January.

Sources (14)

Photo: A child pulling the bags on platform with parents by lalithamba, BY 2.0.

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