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Parents standing on the sideline watching children in Halloween costumes parade in front of them at school.
Parenting Time & Schedules

The Halloween Parade Is on the Other Parent's Day. You Can Usually Still Go.

Your custody order decides if you can attend your child's school parade when it falls on the other parent's day. Here's how to manage it.

Best for the Children Editorial·9 min read·October 9, 2026

The flyer comes home in the backpack: costume parade, Friday, families welcome. Then you check the calendar, and Friday is the other parent's day. In most families you can still go and watch. The parade happens at school, during school hours, with your child already there. Standing on the sideline is not the same as having your child. Your child still goes home under that day's schedule. What follows covers the exceptions, the costume, the curb, and the extra adult, so your child gets to enjoy the parade.

Watching the parade is not the same as having your child

This year Halloween is Saturday, October 31. That puts many school parades on Friday, October 30, in the middle of a normal school day. Woodside School District in California set its parade for about 1:20 p.m. that Friday. Families watch from the sidelines of the turf field, there's a sing-along afterward, students go back to class at 2:15, and pickup follows the usual times (2:30 for kindergarten, 3:10 for grades 1 through 8). William Penn Charter School in Philadelphia set its K–5 parade for 8:45 a.m. the same day. The École in New York planned an afternoon parade in Madison Square Park with parents and guardians invited. If it rains, the parade moves to classroom visits.

The pattern is the same everywhere. Your child arrives at school as usual, the parade happens, and dismissal follows the school's normal pickup. Whose day it is decides who has your child before school and after the last bell. Who may stand on the sideline is a separate question, and the answer is usually "both of you."

Halloween night is a different matter. Trick-or-treating, candy, and the handoff are covered in Halloween in Two Homes: Whose Night Is It?

Your order has three different sections

Most orders handle this in three places: the regular schedule, any Halloween line, and any line about school or activities. Each does a different job, and states write them differently.

  • Texas: Unless the order limits it, a parent named as a conservator has the right "at all times" to attend school activities, including lunches, performances, and field trips. The order has to list the rights each parent keeps at all times, so that list is where you'd find any limit. Texas Law Help points out that this right covers school activities only. It doesn't cover non-school events, so a church or neighborhood trunk-or-treat isn't included.
  • Virginia: Unless a court order says otherwise, a public school or day care may not refuse to let a noncustodial parent take part in activities the school supports, such as lunches, special programs, and conferences, just because that parent is noncustodial. Fairfax County's regulation goes further. A visitation schedule is not a limit on school access, and the other parent objecting is not enough to keep you out. In Fairfax, "noncustodial" means a parent a court left with no legal custody. It does not mean "it's not my day."
  • Indiana: The parenting time guidelines set Halloween parenting time at 6 to 9 p.m., or the local trick-or-treat hours where the parent who has the child lives. A morning or early-afternoon parade falls outside that window. The guidelines also say parenting time should not be used as an excuse to keep a child out of school activities.
  • Florida: The parenting plan has to name who handles school-related matters and other activities. The court also weighs each parent's willingness to take part in school life as part of the child's best interests. Florida has no single statewide rule giving both parents a right to attend every parade, so your plan's wording matters.

Read your own order, then check your own state's rules.

The school sets its own rules, and a stay-away order comes before the parade

Under the federal law called FERPA, both parents keep their rights to education records unless a court order or similar legal document specifically takes them away. FERPA covers records only. It doesn't get you into the building, and it doesn't let you take your child out of school.

Each district sets its own rules for that, and they vary a lot:

  • Lodi Unified (California): Officials presume both parents may visit, join school activities, and pick up, unless a certified court order restricts that parent.
  • Lake County (Colorado): The school will not release a child to the noncustodial parent, or hold a teacher conference with that parent, without the custodial parent's approval.
  • Prince George's County (Maryland): Noncustodial visits and pickups are handled case by case, and you need a visitor's pass during school hours. The parent with primary physical custody during the school year decides day-to-day matters, including who picks the child up.
  • Fairfax County (Virginia): The school will release a child to a parent with legal custody even on the other parent's day. It will not release a child to a parent with no legal custody unless the custodial parent consents in writing. Fairfax can also keep any parent out if that parent's presence raises a safety or disruption concern.

So call the office or stop by this week, well before the morning of the parade. Bring your order. Ask where parents watch from and who may leave with your child. For more on that conversation, see When the School Asks for the Custody Order.

If a stay-away or restraining order covers your child's school, you stay away from the parade. California's temporary restraining order form, for example, lets a judge list the children's school or child care. The judge can write in exceptions for a brief, peaceful exchange or for contact during court-ordered visits. Otherwise, the order means no parade.

What your child has to manage that morning

The costume has to follow that school's rules, and it has to be at school when the day starts. Woodside students change into costumes at school just before the parade, and nothing that looks like a weapon is allowed. Penn Charter asks for comfortable costumes that come off easily, with no toy weapons, nothing violent, and nothing that mocks people. If the costume is at your house and Friday morning isn't yours, get it to the other home before Friday.

Some families don't celebrate Halloween. Penn Charter will give those children another activity during the parade if the family contacts the school. That's a family request. It isn't a way for one parent to pull the child out over the other parent's objection.

Indiana's guidelines say a child can feel uncomfortable or embarrassed when parents don't share information with each other. In their section on activities outside school, they also say a child is more likely to enjoy an event when both parents are there. What children have told us over the years is that the hardest part is being caught between their parents in front of other people. That's why the best sideline has two parents, no scene, and no surprise adult your child has to explain to classmates. Prince George's County, for one, gives stepparents and new partners no right of their own at school. A new partner may sit in on a meeting at the parent's request. The parade belongs to your child and their classmates, so this may not be the morning to bring someone new.

After-school events work differently. The École's middle-school dance, from 6 to 8 p.m., happens during someone's parenting time, like any other evening.

Send one calm message, then leave with the schedule unchanged

The parent who has your child that morning gets them dressed and to school. Indiana's guidelines also put transportation to school activities on the parent who has the child at the time. They say that whichever parent learns the details should tell the other parent the date, time, place, and what the event is.

A short note covers it: you'll be there to watch, you won't be taking your child, the costume is in the green bag, and the other parent has dismissal as usual. That's a courtesy. You're not asking permission, unless your order or a stay-away order says you can't come. Texas Law Help gives the same answer to "the other parent says I can't go": the order decides.

If the classroom only has room for a few volunteers, the teacher decides who comes in. Watching from the field still counts.

At the curb, don't argue, don't ask your child to choose, and don't do a surprise early pickup. Even where a school like Fairfax would release your child to either legal parent, leaving with them on the other parent's day can still break your possession order. If the afternoon should change, ask ahead of time.

Add one sentence so you don't have this argument again next October

The next time you put an agreement in writing, or a plan is drafted, consider adding this: Both parents may attend school events, including parties and parades. The child goes home with the parent who has parenting time unless the parents agree otherwise that day. A partner or other adult attending does not have a parent's role at school.

A stay-away order, or an order that already limits school contact, overrides that sentence. Halloween night stays under whatever your holiday section says. The same sentence works for other school events, from the winter concert to parent-teacher conferences. For wording the message itself, see 40 Ready-to-Use Co-Parenting Text and Email Scripts.

Thanksgiving is about four weeks after the parade. If the parade goes calmly, that's a good start on the handoffs that come after it.

Sources (19)

Photo: Halloween Parade 2014 by GoToVan, BY 2.0.

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